My Story

The truth is, I have not always been kind to my body. I have generally had good intentions, sometimes clouded by a desire to be skinny, fit or some poster child of something. Even in moments that I thought I was being healthy or pushing myself to be stronger, I know I have put my body through stress in order to prove something to myself about how dedicated or disciplined I could be. I've tried it all, vegan, low fat, low carb, hot yoga, crossfit, running, boot camp, you name it. And then there was a time where I said  !$%&!(^&  it and ate to medicate or to prove that I didn't have to be what was culturally expected of me. I was 30 pounds heavier then but who is counting anyways?

Even my journey into ancestral eating was fraught with an obsession to control and count and prove something. In the winter going into 2012, I was in a low place, feeling heavy and having a hard time controlling  my asthma, even with an inhaler. I had dealt with a variety of issues related to inflammation and asthma had been a struggle since childhood. I also dealt with allergies, skin breakouts and lots of lethargy. I had tried various diets, but at that time I was eating whatever I wanted, in large quantities and feeling pretty crappy about it. I wasn't moving my body much and my self esteem was really low although I never showed it to anyone. 

December 2011

As the seasons began to change to spring in 2012, I committed that if nothing else, I would break my sugar habit. I had researched the Paleo diet (by the way, I think this name is kind of cheesy so I don't usually refer to my diet this way) before and I decided to go cold turkey and cut out sugar, grains, beans and dairy at the beginning of May. The first five days were so miserable. I remember crying a lot for no apparent reason and being really irritable. After that, I started to feel really good. My blood sugar was stable and I wasn't hungry two hours after a meal. My afternoon sugar cravings disappeared and I started lifting weights and sprinting stairs a couple times a week. I started supplementing with magnesium too and the combination with diet helped control my asthma symptoms. I stopped needing to use my inhaler multiple times a day and now I use it very rarely.

I began to lose weight. I started really low carb and now I realize  I certainly wasn't eating enough to fuel heavy lifting and stair sprints but I felt REALLY good and high for the first six months. After that I crashed, I started feeling the blood sugar crashes again. I was  exhausted and cravings returned but I didn't realize this was my body asking for more sustenance. I was running my adrenals ragged. I eventually began to add more carbs and calories back, including dairy, more fruit, chocolate and safe starches. I gave myself more freedom to enjoy and I felt like I was closer to a truly healthy relationship with eating. 

Just when you think you've got it figured out, your realize that you don't. In February 2013, I started having pelvic pain which after multiple misdiagnoses has since been tentatively diagnosed as Endometriosis. Endometriosis is thought to be an autoimmune disease where endometrial tissue is displaced from uterus and found in other places such as ovaries, intestines etc. It is still a mystery to the medical community and there are not a lot of great treatment options. I have opted out of any medical interventions and I am working to heal my adrenals, balance my hormones and control inflammation through herbs, supplements diet and other healing modalities. I use an amazing proteolytic enzyme combination called Wobenzym to manage pain/inflammation and prevent scar tissue. Acupuncture and Chinese medicine have been of great help as well. 

I have found that staying mostly grain/bean free and eating sugars from fruits, beets, honey etc. instead of starches for carbs helps me feel my best. I am able to control inflammation, feel energized and enjoy the pleasure of tasty, nourishing food. I eats lots of butter, vegetables, meat too. I don't push myself with intense exercise but stick with walking, dance and yoga. Getting enough sleep, a healthy sex life, good social support and other forms of self care are part of my healthy lifestyle too. 

I find myself wanting to forgive and be gentle with myself for unkind choices I have made and to continue to make peace with my body and all its beauty and imperfection. I am always seeking a place of better balance, acceptance and less stress because I think that is where my healthiest potential lies. 

August 2013

I hope to explore issues of food, natural medicine and healing here on this blog and I will offer my recipes, reflections, successes and nonsuccesses too. Thank you for listening!